I remember the other day running into a fellow mommy I know & she looked absolutely worn out, she was sporting some yogi pants, had on no make-up, & her hair was up in a messy bun. First thing when she saw me, I could tell she was a lil' embarrassed & immediately began to apologize & explain her "disheveled appearance". Usually whenever I see this particular mom she is perfectly put together & so composed & now here was the very same woman in front of me trying to apologize & explain herself in fear I was perhaps judging her for an "off day". You want to know what the funny thing is? When I first saw her, my mind was in the exact opposite place. A sense of relief actually swept over me as I began to think to myself, "It doesn't happen to just me?!".
Parenting is definitely not always easy. We probably realized this from pure observation before we became a parent, definitely began to understand this when we had a baby of our own, & WITHOUT A DOUBT appreciated this fact when we became the parent of more than 1 child! That being said, it can also be the most rewarding & fulfilling experience as well!
I think a lot of times we set ourselves up for failure when we think we should automatically be "perfect" at it. Parenting is not & never has been a destination, it is a journey. We are constantly needing to change, rework, improve, grow, redirect, learn & so forth. And even if for 1 flash of a moment we think we just might have it all down, a curve ball is thrown & we are quickly humbled again & realize there is still a lot more to be done. As long as we don't give up & keep striving towards not so much "perfection", but rather improvement then that is already a huge sign YOU ARE a great parent.
A wonderful article I came across recently & do recommend reading if you have younger babies is called "10 Ways To Be A More Confident Mom" By Colleen Moriarty. It had some great tips & pointed out definite pitfalls we can sometimes fall into as mommies. But the main piece that stuck out to me from the entire article was when it said something along the lines of your kid thinking you are pretty great already.
Babies are born believing the sun rises & sets on their parents, we are the ones that change that. Maybe we communicate our insecurities to them, maybe its in our actions, maybe they notice a the lack of trying from you (you've accepted defeat in parenting), or whatever it may be. In parenting believing in yourself & your abilities plays such a huge role in your success or failure. You have built in lil' cheerleaders who are already on your side, but it ultimately starts with YOU! At the end of the day maybe you didn't complete the laundry, get dinner finished on time, missed out on getting some 1 on 1 time in with every kid-Its okay! You are human. Forgive yourself & focus on what you did accomplish & start fresh tomorrow!
An additional note: YES, some husbands are great at patting their wife on the back daily & appreciating & recognizing all that she does day in & day out, but you can't rely on that & have it be your sole motivation in your journey towards believing you are & striving towards being great mother/wife. We have to learn to be battery powered (encouraged from within), & not solar powered (based on others' opinions/words) to be motivated.
I remember 1 mom saying how she had worked so hard to make sure the front room of their house was clean before her husband got home. She wanted to set the mood & start their night off on a high note, so in the midst of juggling multiple kiddos & all the other things she had going on, she managed to get that front room spotless. She was so proud of herself & could not wait for her husband to see the extra effort she had put in. Well, when her husband got home he did not even notice what she had done. In fact, the first place that he headed was into the kitchen where she had not had the chance to straighten up yet & he rolled his eyes as he pointed out what a disaster area it was. She said she wanted to not only breakdown in tears, but forget "trying" altogether.
I am sure every mom can relate on some level. No one is perfect & I am sure that was not the husband's true intention, but again the point I am trying to make is that in this journey of parenting we are not always going to be perfect or feel like we are where we want to be, but as long as we stay motivated towards improving every day-That's what matters!
So, you are not alone out there mommies-We are all on the same ship! We may have moments that we doubt ourselves & our abilities, but rest in the fact that you are stronger than you know & you CAN do this! Parenting is not a destination, but a journey. Believe in yourself!
|Soon to be a coffee filter|
|Night hugs for brother!|
|Messy messy french toast|
|Randomly decided to do a tea party!|
|Picking paint for the nursery!|
|A mommy must have made this playground.|
Genius having the bars so low!
My arms thank you!
Lovin' every minute of it
|The "unsure" face|
|How we roll!|