Aidann, my oldest, is almost 4 1/2 years old now. This means a whole new set experiences & challenges I have never encountered before. The most recent thing I have run into with my daughter is her experiencing "mean kids". It does not matter where you are (the park, church, dance, or where ever) you cannot protect your kids forever from every single run in with kids who are going to choose to not be so nice.
Aidann is extremely tender hearted & believes the best in everyone so the other day when she came home in tears, I almost wanted to cry too...or beat someone up j/k. She told me how 1 of her "lil' friends" started bragging to her about how they were going to get to go to 1 of their mutual friend's houses & how she wasn't invited. Aidann could not understand why the child felt the need to be so mean to her & she wondered why she did not get to go to the house too. I definitely had some not so nice words come to mind at first, but instead I explained to Aidann how when someone chooses to talk to her in a rude manner she has the right to "use her words" & take up for herself to let that person know how their words made her feel. In our family it is expected that we talk to each other & our friends with respect & treat people how we would like to be treated, but not every one's family operates with those same expectations.
I also took the opportunity to ask her what type of "qualities" she would like in her friends. After she named off her list, I asked her if that child was really someone she wanted to hang out with? She took a moment to think about it & then said "No". While she does still need to be nice to that child, I told her that maybe she should hang out with different friends who are kind, fun, & treat her how she deserves to be treated. It does hurt to be left out sometimes. I explained how that is a valid feeling for her to have, I am an adult & even feel that way sometimes, but we can't let it rob us of our joy for more than a few seconds. Maybe next time & let's try to be happy for them.
When dealing with our children it is definitely a tender spot, but in each situation we need to take that extra moment to STOP. Take a deep breath. Get our emotions as in check as possible. And then handle the situation in the most productive way possible. I am not saying we won't make mistakes & act first/think later, but let's try our best to not always jump to the rescue if it is something our child can be taught to handle on their own with our guidance.
2 quotes I came across....(Source)
"The Most Dangerous Place To Be Is Between A Mother and Her Child..."
"A Mothers Love For Her Child Is Like Nothing Else In This World...
It Knows No Law, It Knows No Pity...
It Dares All Things and Crushes Down Remorselessly On All That Stands In Its Path"
|Just waking up|
|Waiting for the parade|
|Protecting her collected parade treasures with her life!|
|Petting a police dog|
|Throw that football!|