Sunday, June 26, 2011

Positively Different

Although most of my elementary years were spent being home schooled, I did experience "real school" a few times off & on. It was in a about the 3rd or 4th grade at recess or something that a couple kids & I somehow got on the conversation on initials. Everyone was saying what theirs were. When it finally came to my turn I said "S.A.D.". At first the kids were kind of like "Well, that sucks for you", but it really didn't bother me. I was proud of my initials. From a very early age my mom recognized a "subject" that could potentially be turned around into something hurtful in the future & immediately started helping me to see it as something great & to even be proud of. I was named after my grandma who was a successful scholar & nurse that also speaks fluent Spanish (She's Irish!). My mom always told me she named me "SAD" because she was sad there couldn't be more lil' girls as special & fun as me. I was proud because I knew my name meant "princess full of grace".

I mean you could say, "Well, that's just initials", but there are a lot of other things we take so lightly that can prove to be extremely damaging later on. Sadly, a lot of times these days we can find ourselves joking with each other about things without maybe thinking 1st. Like from an early age sometimes it becomes a "thing" to tease your kid about their big head or freckles. While they are young it may be all cute & fun & games, but that stuff can turn into something much deeper in the future. A complex even! Of course you are "just teasing", but that's how insecurities start. And don't expect the kid to stand up & admit it hurts them or bothers them because usually they won't. Sometimes they will even laugh along with you when they are really & truly bothered. Its unrealistic to think that our kids will never run into situation where someone will hurt their feelings or tease them, but we need to start preventing it 1st in the home. It should be a safe place where they don't have to be on the defensive constantly. 

I remember dancing ballet when I was little & in one of my class the teacher was constantly harping on my big behind, "tuck it in, tuck it in" every 5 minutes. I grew self conscious thinking my rear was just HUGE & I was only 7 years old. It wasn't until much later on that I realize a larger behind can actually be considered as a good thing. People were also constantly pointing out how thin my hair was & it totally gave me a complex. 1 comment I never forgot was when someone called my hair anorexic. I mean really? Its just now in my twenties I have learned to just embrace my hair.

I look at my kids every day & focus on developing them on the inside 1st & foremost, but I also see their beautiful outward differences that God has blessed them with & I am already teaching them differences are a good thing!!! Light skin or dark skin, blue eyed or brown, short or tall. Their various talents & personalities are also beautiful, no matter how different they may be from each other

As parents we need to build our kids up, not put them down even if we are just joking. Maybe you have a kid with ears on the lil' bit bigger side, do your best to turn the potentially negative into something positive. Its no laughing matter!

-M&M Momma

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