Sunday, January 25, 2015

Build Up, Don't Tear Down...

Phew, we just crossed a big & exciting "to-do" off of our list. The wedding that the girls & myself were honored to participate in, finally came!

I cannot even begin to describe the nerves that I felt as the days led up to the wedding. Of course being a bridesmaid can be a lil' nerve racking (don't trip walking up the aisle, hoping your hair and make up works out, don't get the dress dirty or rip it before the wedding, etc), but add in being a pregnant bridesmaid & 3 of your kiddos being in the wedding and WHOA you are in a whole new ball game of nerves, Baby! I didn't want anything to mess up my dear friend's day.

Well, I am more than delighted to say that it was a spectacular wedding! All the bride and groom's (and everyone else behind the scenes) hard work more than paid off! I am also happy to report that this pregnant lady made it down the aisle without tripping on her face, all 3 flower-girlies did flawlessly, & my other 2 munchkins remained in good spirits throughout the whole 12 hour wedding experience! It was a blast!!!

Well, on to tonight's topic...

If you have more than one kiddo, then I am sure you have heard them bicker with each other over petty things once or twice before…. Well, in our family even though it does happen from time to time, it is definitely something we do not sit & tolerate. We always try to emphasize with the kids that we are a “TEAM” -the same team. Although we may not always agree with each other, we need to do our best to find respectful & productive ways to try to find resolutions.

An  awesome teaching I saw done before & have tweaked to use with my own kids to emphasize the importance of our words is so simple & just requires some blocks.  Have your kids build something out of blocks-a tower, a castle, or whatever they want. When they are finished ask them how they would feel if you just went over & knocked their creation down? With my kids I literally knocked their creation down, but you can gauge how your own kiddos will react. Take that moment to really talk about the feelings that arose. Maybe anger, frustration, or even sadness. Our family is so big, there is always a baby crawling around somewhere ready to accidentally knock over some blocks for you, so they can really relate to this scenario. 

Next, take the time to help them rebuild their creation-block by block. Once you are finished helping them, ask how they feel now? They may use words like happiness or relief to explain how they feel. Ask them if they liked it better when you were working against them, knocking down their blocks, or for them, helping them build! I would assume that most children would prefer you working for them & not against them.

Go on to explain to your kids that those are the kinds of people we need to be in life. People who are there to build up & encourage each other rather than the type of people who are quick to tear down with their negative words. “Build up, don’t tear down” is the quick & effective “catchphrase” that helps my kids remember this teaching & speedily check themselves when their words are starting to get out of line. A scripture that I really like for our family & my kiddos for this season of life is Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen”.

Kids are not perfect & with siblings with so many different personalities & opinions, there are bound to be disagreements from time to time, but it is all about how you handle it! If we teach them while they are young, then hopefully we will prepare them for when they deal with the bigger world of school & the work place where there are even more people with different personalities & opinions.

-M&M Momma

Wedding rehersal

The bride, groom, and the flower girls!

2 hr ride home, lets do this!

At the hotel, ready for wedding day!

Getting wedding ready!

Lil' buddies

Patiently waiting for the wedding to begin

You would never guess
which child was not to thrilled
to go on the ride initially.

They were thrilled!

Believe it or not, by the end she loved it.

Lawn games

Add caption

First dance, tear

Cake time....Yeah, they were excited!

Dancing with the ring bearer

Still waking up

Hanging out with dadddy

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