Young kiddos do not naturally have the ability to think long term, cause & effect, that is something that comes along a lil' later with time & experience. This is something we as parents have to stay conscious of sometimes before reacting to some of the more...interesting things our kids come up with. Everything from odd food combinations (why would you dip your pizza into your yogurt!?) to creative art ventures (You colored what?!) to not so fun bathroom accidents at the most inopportune times.
Sometimes we want to get angry & even yell because it can be extremely frustrating, but we need to first pause & look at their heart. If you have already warned them about getting into your make-up & they choose to do it anyway, that is different because that boundary has already been set. But if you were about to head out somewhere, they are all dressed to go, & accidentally spill their juice all down the front of their outfit because they were getting a lil' too rambunctious with their open cup, then we have to have patience & handle that situation differently. Even though we might be a lil' annoyed & in our minds it seems obvious that "you just don't do that", we have to use those types of situations to teach our children that "cause & effect" you are already acquainted with. "When we are drinking something, we need to sit down & sit still. If we don't, it can spill out, make a big mess. That also means we do not have juice to enjoy anymore & have to change our clothes again".
In addition to just telling them, show them. For example, the other day we were at our favorite "Red Store" & all the ladies were enjoying walking around looking at everything with their plastic water cups. Yes, they had lids, but if you hold the cup by just its lid then the cup is going to fall & the water is going to go everywhere....Aidy knows that now. Right there in the make-up aisle she did just this & water went all over. Immediately, she apologized & you could tell she felt really badly. This was definitely an opportunity where we could have got frustrated with her, we always tell the girls "use 2 hands" & this is why. BUT instead of getting angry & adding more sadness to an already repentant lil' lady, my husband & I both had to push pause & then we told her how next time she needed to not hold her cup by the lid & use 2 hands. We also had her
go up to 1 of the workers there & ask for some paper towels & then we worked together to wipe it up. Aidy did not get in trouble because it was a definite accident, but having her help wipe up her mess not only taught her to be responsible for her actions/mistakes but it will also help her to remember that cups spill easily if we do not hold them correctly for the next time.
Kids are growing & learning new things every day & sometimes that means a few mistakes & messes along the way. As their parents it is our job to first push pause & assess (What was their heart? Were they disobeying a rule already in place or was it a situation where they simpiliy did not think things all the way through?). Secondly, if they meant well then we need to react in love & use the situation to help teach them to grow from it with our words & actions. :)
I have seen kids that are raised with parents who do not allow for mistakes, they spill milk & cry about it because they usually get yelled at, & its just not a healthy thing. We are meant to help shape our children into better people who get up from mistakes & move on, not children who crumble & feel defeated. Mistakes happen to us all, that is how we learn & grow into BETTER people!
|Yay "Banana Store"|
|Bringing the paper towels for her mess|
|Clean up time!|
|More Adley faces....|
|Her lip gloss obsession.|
|About to go to the store & pick out |
a "big girl" helmet.
She picked Cars, go figure lol!