Mud Pies & Minivans: On To The Next Chapter...(Zane Turns UNO)

Well, my baby boy has officially turned 1. I have to say as the event came closer & closer, it hit me hard. SUPER HARD. Oh yes, those "baby blues", "dark and twisties", or whatever the correct term is for the realization that the baby making chapter of your life really is over. Yes, contrary to popular belief, we have officially decided we are done having children.

Now, people could think I am kind of crazy for even battling with these types of emotions. I mean after all-6!?! And "No" if you were wondering, that comment that it is all the same after you reach 4 kids is not the least bit true-LOL. I am not even talking about money, every time you add in a child there are that many more kids love cups to fill and little people that truly need your attention, lessons to make it to, less space in your vehicle, less space in your house, volume on an every day basis increased immensely, that much harder to find a sitter, & so forth. BUT it is the best decision we could have ever made. I gladly will take all of that any day! Seeing the love, care, & selflessness that comes along with being a close six pack-BEAUTIFUL! Not one day goes by that one of them does not astound me with their thoughtful insights or have me rolling on the floor laughing. I love children with every single ounce of my being & raising them this far has been my greatest honor & privilege. So yes 6 children is a lot to some, but I still honestly felt super sad about putting this absolutely gorgeous chapter behind me.

Initially, as I packed up what seemed like thousands of baby girl clothes & toys to give away to family & friends I was brought to tears a few times. Yes, as I packed away the bouncer & baby saucer that went through all 6 kiddos, I did want to curl up in the fetal position in my closet & reassure myself it all would be okay, lol. But seriously, after a few weeks of really trying to get myself together & silently going through the struggle (a man simply cannot understand though he tried, bless his heart) I can now say I am at peace with the decision & I know it is the best thing for our family.

These past 7 years of being pregnant....pretty much nonstop, were the most beautiful years of my life thus far. Were they easy-NO WAY ON EARTH. Still every time I hear a woman talk about how fun it is to be pregnant, I am tempted to check her temperature & ask her if she is out of her mind, LOL but I get it. The whole process from beginning to end is quite miraculous, a true testament to how amazing God really is, but after experiencing a preemie, all of the hospital stints for preterm labor, vomiting episodes galore (thanks girls), 4 months on complete bed rest because of a car accident, experiencing putting kids under for surgeries while super jacked up on pregnancy hormones, & all the other events surrounded around my pregnancies-I feel like the happiest mommy alive! The A2Zteam is a completed six-pack! God has been so good. I am ready to take on this next chapter, I am also extremely happy to pack up "Mama 'Dela" (the pump, aka my ball and chain for the last 7 years) for eternity! I am ready to be the best mommy to these kiddos possible & continue the beautiful juggle of 6 children.

Happy Birthday, Zane Elias. You are the perfect ending & as fun & rambunctious as a 1 year old ever could be! You will do powerful things with that boldness & charisma. Forever my cherry on top!

-M&M Momma