Mud Pies & Minivans: The Mirror is Not Your Enemy: The Road Back 2 The Body You Want

There were clothes thrown absolutely everywhere. The floor, the bed, & the recliner could hardly be seen through the aftermath of Hurricane Sarah.

Awe, 1 of the many joys experienced on journey back from having a baby. For me, we are talking 5 babies!?! Being a women in general can be "a lot"-the maintenance required to just keep it all decent is amazing. Beyond needing clothes, there's constant hair appointments needed, mani's & pedi's, eyebrows, make-up & other daily hygiene supplies, waxing, that time of the month necessities, shoes, undergarments, & these are just the basics for survival-lol. Adding in nothing fitting because you are in that "in-between-stage" & your body is not quite where you want it to be yet can feel---overwhelming at times.

Of course we want to get back to our ideal weight/look for ourselves, but when married I think we kind of feel extra pressure (real or imagined) to get back there even more quickly. Even if he is not throwing hints your way about needing to lose the weight & even if he is constantly telling you how great you look, if you don't feel "great" yet it can be a lil' challenging to believe it & feel confident again.

Before kids, most of us probably took steps to maintain or try to reach our "ideal" whether that meant working out, watching the things we ate, or whatever & that was hard. After kids however, experiencing the CRAZY changes your body goes through, it feels like a whole new ballgame! Stretch marks, body parts moving to whole new locations, & weight seeming to just suck onto you like some bloodthirsty leech? Yeah, a whole new ballgame! Then with each pregnancy you add, the journey back to where you want your body to be seems to move further & further out of reach! The clothes that were once designated to be worn just while pregnant, seem to stay clothing staples in our closet a lil' longer than we wanted. Slipping into some yoga pants becomes our "dressed up" look. Maybe sometimes we even find ourselves dipping into our husband's wardrobe for a shirt that "fits".

Now, I am not writing all of this to be a "Debbie-downer" & recruit other mommies to throw in the towel with me & pop open a carton of Ben & Jerry's-Not at all, the contrary even! I first wanted to establish that you are not the only mommy out there that feels that way. You are not the only person who has experienced a slight meltdown because you feel like nothing fits. You are not the only one who has dreaded the thought of your husband seeing you undressed because you fear he won't like what he sees. You are not the only one who feels like nothing is working & you aren't losing the weight fast enough (even when people tell you to "Just relax, you just had a baby").

But it IS important to cut yourself some slack! Yes, your body has gone through a crazy transformation in order to have a baby, maybe more than once or twice, but its important to not just focus on that. Look at the beautiful lil' miracles that have come as a result! We can't let ourselves take for granted that we have the ability to carry a life. Some women would give anything to experience the "body-after" if that meant they were able to carry a baby-even just once.

Yes, on a level I am preaching all of this to myself too. I think we all have to remind ourselves from time to time to cut ourselves a tiny bit of slack. We are going to have to work harder to get our bodies to where we want them to be & work to maintaining that body once reached because we have had kids, but who cares. I feel like having babies was more than worth that trade off!

Now, do not get me wrong, I am not going to use the fact that I have had 5 kids as an excuse to let my body just go, but I am also not going to let this fact hold me back from enjoying life to the fullest whether I have reached my ideal body yet or not! In time I will get there. Plus, I have an obligation to myself & 4 lil' girls & my son even to love the skin I am in. I will set forth the example of a health lifestyle with good eating habits & staying active, but I will also do my best to set the example through my communication that outer beauty is not absolutely everything & does not define who we are as a people. Sometimes if this confidence means faking it before you truly believe it yet, then so be it. Also, for my husband's sake I will do my best to not constantly point out the flaws I see, because for 1 he better appreciate the sacrifices my body has been through to bring his kids here (lol) & to men a lot of times they aren't as critical as we are & confidence is what is the MOST sexy thing!

So, Sexy Mommas---Know that you are not in it alone & you are not crazy for having moments where you lack a lil' confidence or feel a lil' discouraged. You are beautiful & your goals (for physical appearance or what have you) are not too far out of your reach to attain if you stay consistent, believe in yourself, & realize it is going to take some time (cut yourself a break).

-M&M Momma

Posts of the Past:

Body After Baby or Babies

Body After Baby-Again?!?