Mud Pies & Minivans: The Heart of a Mother

I thought I knew pain & then I had my children.

Sure, delivering a child into this world can be extremely intense. They say the human body can only bear 45 del of pain, but during childbirth a woman can feel up to 57 del of pain-the equilvelant of 20 bones fracturing at the same time. But in my opinion, it is during those years after after having a child that a mother truly begins to understand the meaning & depth of the word "pain".

I remember the moment I got to hold my daughter, Aidann, for the 1st time. I sat there just staring at her & holding her as closely to my heart as I possibly could. Suddenly, I found myself bursting into tears. I knew immediately that my life would never be the same & I felt my heart immediately swell with a depth of love unlike I had ever experienced before. It was almost as if my chest was on the absolute brink of exploding, I was overwhelmed. I knew at that moment that if anyone ever dared to lay their hand on this child in any sort of negative way....there was going to be absolute hell to pay. There was no limit or price that could be put on what I would be willing to do for her. If you have been a mom for only 5 minutes or 50 years then you know exactly what I am talking about. But I soon discovered that all those emotions I was feeling were only the beginning.

A gassy stomach or a small bump on the head, all set my heart in an absolute whirlwind. Gosh, then the second child was born-another extension of my everything. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly have anymore love in me to give, I found myself falling just as in love all over again, my chest once again on the brink of erupting. And then the 3rd child came....the 4th child...& now the 5th! Every time is absolutely like the 1st time & every day I feel like the richest woman in this world, so blessed & loved. But as they grow, I have also begun to experience the most pain I have ever had to endure to date.

Its 1 thing when someone says something mean to you, treats you unfairly, or lets you down. But once it starts happening to your children....That's a whole new ball game! Their pain becomes your pain too & as they get older the more hardships & let-downs they will unfortunately begin to experience.

At times it makes things so much worse when your child experiences a type of hurt & being so young & innocent they just don't understand "why?" & you really have no answer for them. People can be cruel & sometimes people just hurt without even meaning to or knowing they have done so. As a mother, I wish I could shelter my children forever from absolutely everything & take away all their pain, but I just can't. That's not real life. Instead, as mothers we must remain strong & be that shoulder to at times cry on or rely on to help push them through things. We are there to help build up our children's confidence & prepare them for how to deal with disapointments, hurtful words, & hurtful actions. It is our responsibility to teach them to take responsibility for their actions, express themselves in postive ways, & speak up for themselves. We can protect them, but sadly not from everything & not for forever. Sometimes we have to set our own emotions on the back burner, especially when it comes to being tempted to take up an offense for our kids, & remember how important & powerful our role is in their lives.

It can be painful & tears will undoubted be shed more than once on our pillows, but while learning to work through dealing with our children's pain we can know we are not carrying the load all alone. You are also not the only mother out there who feels the way you do!

-M&M Momma