Mud Pies & Minivans: A Mothers' Love- Dealing With A Child Going Through Surgery

One of my fellow mommy friends once said that she would "...Rather have her own body sliced & diced while she was still awake than have her kid have to go through surgery". I completely know that feeling. As mommies we are willing to do whatever it takes to keep our children from experiencing any pain or sadness & if you have ever come across a situation like surgery where things are out of your control, it is a very hard thing to hear.

I remember a few years back when I found out that my 2 year old was going to need surgery for both of her eyes, in that moment my heart felt crushed. I remember as soon as we got home from the appointment going up to my room, closing the door, & letting out a good hard cry. We stand in faith for things, but sometimes steps like surgery become necessary. We can't let these times make us feel like bad parents or like our faith was not "strong enough", but we just need to hold on to THE promise that all will go perfect & awesome testimonies will come out of it!

I realize that I am not the only mom out there who has come across this type of situation & as much as our husbands try to comfort us through these times (bless them for that), sometimes another mommy is the best person to lean on because they can feel where you are coming from a lil' more.

As I said, no mommy wants to hear that their kid needs surgery, but sometimes it is the road you have to take. I would say once you let out that good initial cry, then you are ready to shake it off as much as possible & get down to business. Preparing your kiddo for surgery is VERY important. It does not have to be traumatizing experience for your child. I would say that the first step you should take after scheduling the surgery is getting informed. You probably don't want your kiddo in the room for this part, but make sure that you know what is going to happen before, during, & after surgery. It is very important that you know what is going to happen so you can prepare your child as much as possible, start to talk with them. Explain what is going to happen to them on a level that they can understand, try to avoid descriptive terms that may scare them like "slice" or "gushing". While you do not want them to be scared, it is important that they have some sort of idea what is going on as far in advance as possible. Start having them retell it back to you so that you can make sure they understand. Prepare them for things like if they will need blood work (explain in a child friendly way) or if you will not be able to go back with them when the nurse gives them "special stuff" to make them sleep. Prepare them for new things that their body might have after surgery that could potentially startle them like bandages or a new "boldness mark" aka incision. Again, surgery does not have to be a scary memory, we can teach our children how awesome it is that they are being so bold & how this will be a part of their testimony of being victorious in their future!

In addition to preparing your child as much as you can mentally, I think there are also some small special gestures parents can do to brighten up the experience. Picking out special pajamas for surgery may seem like such a lil' thing, but to this day that is the main thing my daughter remembers about her surgery, "I got fairy pajamas!". It is a fun thing you can do together special with the child before surgery. Yes, they will have to take them off for surgery, but it is still a special thing they can wear to the hospital to help them feel even more bold & ready! For my daughter, Aidann, we also picked out 1 or 2 special gifts for her to open up after surgery. We got her some princess glasses since we knew her eyes might not be particularly fond of the sun at first & the Dr. said she might have a little bit of eye bleeding after surgery that a young child does not necessarily need to see when they look in the mirror. Again, small things, but to this day that is what she remembers over the actual surgery or recovery.

As far as You, the mommy goes, just prepare your heart/emotions. While you are busy telling your kid to be bold & all will go well, make sure you are receiving this as well. You owe it to your child to speak nothing but positive both around them & away from them. Your words are powerful & hold a lot of weight, don't forget that. Also, try your very best not to cry in front of your kiddo. Try to keep a strong front up for them & then if you happen to let out a lil' cry after they go back into surgery realize that it does not mean you are "out of faith", it just means that you are the mama & you care.

No parent wants their kid to have surgery, but if you ever find yourself in that situation realize that it will okay & your family will come out stronger! Just another testimony to add to the books of His goodness! Just stay strong & realize that even if it may not feel like, it will be over before you know it!

-M&M Momma