Mud Pies & Minivans: You Can Be Their Hero...Father vs. Daddy

Her lil' face lit up with joy when she heard the words coming through the phone receiver, "Would you give me the pleasure of going out on a date with me, Ashy?". The time had come for Asher's date with daddy. They are constantly taking special 1 on 1 trips here or there with mom or dad, but when it is their turn for their date the whole thing is all about them.

Aidann just recently had her own date with daddy & decided to dress up as a bride (whatever floats her boat) & she also got to decide what they would do. Aidann opted to go to the "banana store" (aka Starbucks) & walk around the "red store" (aka Target).

Today was Asher's date. I seriously do not think her lil' feet touched the ground that whole morning, she was so happy & absolutely on cloud 9. For her special time she decided she wanted to go to the yogurt store & the "red store". She even came home bearing gifts for her sisters. My husband said on the date she asked if she could bless them with something special so he let her pick out a few things. Love it, even though it is supposed to be all about her, she still thinks about her sisters.

Whether you are a daddy by blood or blessed with the privilege of being the father figure in a child's life, it is a huge deal not to be taken lightly. For lil' girls you are creating their picture of how they should let a man treat them in the future (by the way you not only treat & talk to them, but your wife as well) & also their idea of what a father should be & do. No pressure... For young boys, they are going to look up to you on what kind of man they are to become (character, work ethic, how to treat women, how they are supposed to interact & talk to their future kids, & etc.)

The time a father invests in their children is so important. Somethings may not seem like a big deal to you like taking that extra second to sit them down & ask them how their day went or reading them a story, but in the eyes of a child those are the monumental moments they will remember for a lifetime.

I was very blessed to have a hands on dad. I did appreciate it at the time, but even more so now that I am older I have arrived at a whole new level of respect for the time he invested. He was an RN who worked the night shift, but instead of remembering him being utterly exhausted (which he probably was) I just remember things like him squeezing into our tiny plastic kid pool to play with us & not being too manly to let us play salon with him. From the experiences I had with my father, that is how I decided what kind of qualities I was looking for in a future husband & daddy to my future kids.

In a world that is so busy where often times the dad & the mom need to work full-time, we have to take full advantage of every opportunity we can spend with our kids. Even if it is just taking an hour to bring your kids to the park for a picnic or making the effort to find time to take them on a full 1 on 1 date here or there, these moments are going to count. There will be times where you are so tired & you just want to kick back & watch a game instead or you think picking up a couple extra shifts at work is priority, but the truth of the matter is that these are the years that really count & you shouldn't want to miss a single thing. More important than how many pairs of shoes you were able to buy for them growing up is, "Were you there for them?". Get involved & be that daddy you are capable of being, the truth is anyone can be a "father".

As I said earlier, the way you treat your spouse is also going to have a huge impact on your girls & boys as well. Do you treat your wife like your servant or your queen? Are holidays the only time she receives a few nice words, flowers, or a card or do you make that strong effort to show she is appreciated the whole year through? It does not always have to be huge & extravagant gestures, but your kids are watching & listening constantly. Do you show them that its not just mommy's job to clean, cook, or change a diapers? Do you show them that a real man can help & step in there too from time to time too?

I am by no means writing this post to say there are no good daddies left out there anymore, because the truth of the matter is that I know quite a few, I married one. But we can all, mommies & daddies, strive to improve & be better. In parenting you have never "arrived".

-M&M Momma