My friend & I were just talking about this concept the other day. Before you have children of your own you have all these different ideas about how you're going to do things & not do with your kids, what you think your parents did great & where you think there was "room for improvement", & what you believe is SO right in parenting & SO wrong. Often times we found ourselves observing parents in action & taking mental notes like "Well, that is a great idea I am going to have to steal for later" or "NEVER would I EVER do that!".
Then that moment comes when you receive that first "+" sign on a pregnancy test & you realize you are seriously about to be a first time parent. SO exciting, but sometimes a lil' terrifying at the same time. The specifics on how to be this so called "perfect parent" are so much easier to write out on paper than to play out in the trials & errors of real life! You can read all the books, buy all the "gottta have it" baby items, research until your eyes are all "google-ed" out, & hear just about all the advice you can take from the seasoned parents out there....BUT the truth of the matter is, that nothing can prepare you enough except the real deal.
Once that first little bundle of joy is finally here, you realize there is no "pause" (or "mute") button, it doesn't matter whether you feel like changing another diaper or getting up at 3am again, all that stuff you thought you needed for baby really might not be all that important, breastfeeding does not always go textbook perfect at first (that or "Dang, formula costs A LOT!!?!!"), and MOST importantly being that so calmed "perfect parent" is not quite so black & white-And that is okay. You are given the kid or kids you were meant to have. You are stronger than you realize (and can survive on A LOT less sleep). Learning on the job is an okay thing. If you make a mistake, brush it off & just do better next time.
Now, after that first kid comes & your pregnant with the next, that is a very new experience too. You can't just lie down if you are feeling a lil' exhausted or nauseated 1 day because you have a lil' one running around who needs you. A whole new world opens up & you realize that your precious lil' one is not going to be the ONLY one anymore!?! You may start to worry that you do not have enough love to give, because you believe you "could not possibly love another baby more than the one you already have". Other doubts may also come into your head about being able to juggle 2 kids & you wonder if you are really up to such a potentially daunting task or worries about how your current child is going to transition into having a sibling. All normal feelings, but soon that 2nd lil' one arrives & you realize you do have it in you. There may be a few rough spots here & there, you might have to call in a few extra date nights, but you eventually see that it all works out.
Another thing you realize the second time around, like in those commercials-lol, you kind of have the swing of things a lil' better the next time around. It is no longer your "first rodeo". You don't freak out quite the same when you kid "coughs funny" or like me you realize that all is not lost when you don't wash everything in Dreft or you don't have to buy the special $3 baby bottle water, because normal purified water will suffice, lol. Eventually, you can look back & laugh at yourself a bit & the way you thought things were as opposed to the way they actually are. You realize that not all kiddos are the same, some stages are easier than others, you hopefully have a new appreciation & understanding of your own parents, you realize the younger siblings are going to mimic the older siblings so you better get them straightened out first, & your kiddos are also going to copy ALL things you do (good or bad).
The note that I would like to end on is what I believe all parents of multiple kiddos need to always keep right there in the forefront of their minds daily. So often we put the most effort into our first child & as the other kids come we sometimes lose steam & ease up more & more, maybe even baby each child a little more, but that is not right. Each & every child deserves the same consistency, attention, love, special time, discipline, & so forth as the last (also the same amount of pictures & video footage taken of them lol). From birth to 18 years old we have signed up for a very important position with each child that we need to hold as an honor & see through putting forth our best efforts in raising them up each & every day! Each child should be looked at as a masterpiece, being uniquely molded & shaped, not being compared. We may make mistakes along the way that need to be corrected, 1 child may be a lil' more challenging than another was, & there may be times where you question if you are even the right person for the job? Well, let me once again reassure you that YOU ARE! God does not make mistakes!!!
Well, lets embrace the "mommy evolution" as we become not only better mothers along the way, but wives & women as well!!! You are doing a GREAT job!
-M&M Momma
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| Pictures we recently took |
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| Gymbiree play-YAY! |
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| "Digging in the sand"-pretend of course |
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| What else would you do on a rainy day with toddlers? SO FUN! |
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| Making footprints! |
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