Sunday, July 3, 2011

Excuse Me, But....

The best things for our kids usually are not the easiest things. Its all too easy to make excuses for our children when they act up & do nothing about it or try something & if it doesn't work just give up & let them continue to do whatever because its just easier. Your child throws a tantrum in the middle of shopping for groceries, its so much more convenient to just kind of brush it off & hurry & get the shopping down instead of putting everything down to discipline. Or when your child meets someone new & doesn't feel like talking or looking them in the eye & instead of helping them to cooperate & make better choices we just explain it away with an excuse-"they're just tired" or something like that. So many times I hear mom's mention a "no-no" they do with their kid like, "I know I shouldn't do_______, but...". Like letting a child sleep in the bed with you every night, get away with not eating their vegetables & be picky eaters, watching more television then they probably should or maybe watching a show/movie that they probably should not be watching at all, & so forth.

Its just so easy to make excuses to not discipline right away & work on our follow through. Its just so easy to take the easy way out sometimes especially with how tired & worn out you can get fulfilling all your other motherly duties throughout the day, but we owe it to our kids payoff isn't always immediate, but it WILL come. We are only hurting our children when we teach them excuses are okay.

The other day in the mall Jay was in the cellphone store trying to get something resolved & all 3 girls & I were waiting outside of it watching the people walk by. Suddenly a mommy, her kids, & a few of her mommy friends walked by (The phone store was right next to a candy shop). 1 of the kids asked the mom if he could go in & she said "No, not right now. Maybe on the way back". The kid who asked her outright threw himself on the floor & started kicking & letting out the most high pitched scream. Her other kid then proceeded to take off & run into the candy store despite her words. The woman sent her friends in the store after the 1 kid & then she walked over to the kid throwing the temper & clearly embarrassed she asked him to "get up". He crossed his arms & did not move a muscle. She then picked him up & cuddled him, "You are tired aren't you?", & then brought him into the candy store so he would calm down & quit whining. This kid was probably 4 years old.

I looked at the situation not necessarily judging her, but I tried to think what I would do in that predicament. Now my kids are generally pretty well behaved, but I will tell you less than 5 minutes later Aidann gave me the opportunity to show just what I would do. She asked if she could go in the store with her dad & I told her "No". Then like a well studied scholar, she mimicked that boy's tantrum perfectly. You know that lil' smarty pants had been watching him & she saw how it earned him his way. Did I feel like dealing with the tantrum right there in the middle of the mall with 2 other kids? ABSOLUTELY NOT! Was I a lil' embaressed with her choice of behavior right then? YES. I wanted to just go ahead & let her go in the store with her dad because it would have been so much easier. We had already been walking around for an hour & I was tired & ready to leave, BUT I had to practice what I preach & let that lil' girl of mine know that while some things/actions are okay in some families, they are NOT always okay in ours.

I swooped up all 3 of my kids (after 1st sternly talking with her to give her the opportunity to turn the bad choice around), headed straight over to Jcpenny, loaded them all up in the elevator (huge stroller included), & headed straight for the bathroom. Even while I was walking to the bathroom, a few ladies made excuses for lil' Aidann. People I don't even know! "She must be tired", "Oh mommy, be nice to her". We eventually made it to the bathroom & handled what needed to be handled & Aidann walked out of that restroom as if nothing had ever happened & ready to turn it all around.
I had never seen her act that way before & I know it was just to test if the boundaries were still there & guess what? They were. I owed it to Aidann to give her that consistency of knowing what behaviors are expected & what behaviors are not. I also owed it to myself to make the likelihood of this occuring again slim to none. By the time I got back to the store, my husband was out looking for me. I told him what happened & I even think he was impressed with my ability to get all those kids to the bathroom like that as quickly as I did. I am by no means perfect, no mommy is, but all we can do is our very best & HE will make up for the rest!

Night all & have a GREAT 4th of July!!!

-M&M Momma
The joy of getting
3 to look
at the same time! lol
1st 4th of July!!!

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