Sunday, August 7, 2011

Reacting vs. Responding

Often as parents we react much too quickly to situations before allowing ourselves the time to fully assess the situation or get our emotions in check. At our house we have a rule that the kids are not allowed to get into the refrigerator by themselves. One day I left Aidann in the kitchen eating while I went to the playroom for a brief moment to check on her sisters. While in the playroom, I heard Aidy ask to be excused from the table & I "shouted" back that she could get up. A few seconds later I headed to the kitchen only to find my lil' 2 year old in the fridge. The 1st reaction that came to my mind was to get upset with her for disobeying the rules & discipline her, but I decided to push PAUSE & make myself assess the situation 1st. Aidann had opened up the fridge to put her leftovers in there, rather then throwing them away in the trash. Her heart was right & she was intending to do good. She looked up at me & said, "Look, Mommy. I am putting my food away for you so I can eat it later". I was so glad I made myself take the time to analyze before I responded. I was able to explain to her that while I appreciated her trying to help me, next time she could get me 1st & we could put the leftovers into the fridge together.`

Kids so often do not think things through before they do them, cause & effect is a topic they are still trying to comprehend. We need to make sure that we differentiate between a child having good intentions & then outright rebellion. With kids a lot of times situations are not as they often seem so if as parents we make sure to stop ourselves & push "pause" to make sure we have all the facts straight & emotions in check & then respond, we can avoid many misunderstandings & wrong reactions.

There have been times when all 3 lil' ones are playing in the playroom by themselves & I hear some whines or something from around the corner & want to assume I know what is happening. But after sneaking up & taking a moment to analyze before acting I would maybe find that its not Aidann or Asher messing with the baby, but rather lil' Aussie pulling the big girls hair & messing with them instead! Lol. There have been other times I thought Asher was dwadling at putting a book back on the shelf or something, but in reality she was trying but just needed a little help. So, the next time you want to react with yelling when your child gets into your teal nail polish, PAUSE & make sure you handle the situation correctly. We should not be disciplining out of anger either, so often stopping before we correct to get our cool & gather our thoughts before going in is a great idea also (myself included).

-M&M Momma

1 comment:

  1. Sarah, I just love your blog! You are such an amazing woman, mom, and friend! Just wanted you to know :)