Mud Pies & Minivans: Sometimes Being the "Bad Guy" Sucks!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Sometimes Being the "Bad Guy" Sucks!

I don't think our children will every truly understand this until they are raising their own children, I know I didn't. I think we all can remember a point or 2 in childhood where our parents told us "No" about something, grounded us, or took away a prized possession because of something we did or because they were doing what was best for us. Did we deserve the disciplinary action or were they just looking out for us? Probably, but as a kid we usually chose not to focus on that but rather emotions of anger or sadness towards them instead. "They just don't understand" or "They're so mean" were some of the thoughts potentially crossing our minds.

I remember 1 time specifically when I was younger that my mom sent me to bed & let my older siblings stay up to watch a movie. I was so mad & I definitely could not understand my mom's reasoning, my siblings were not that much older than me! What made it worse, my bedroom wall was right next to the living room so I could hear the movie blaring through my wall as I lay down in my bed moping. Now, in hindsight I see why my mom did not let me watch that movie for sure! It was not that my mom was just trying to be unfair & mean, like I thought. I now see that because I was a more sensitive child who took things a lil' more literal that the movie might have had lasting negative affects on me. I am so glad she didn't let me watch it-lol. I am actually thankful.

It rips at our hearts sometimes when we have to discipline or deny our kids something, but we have to stand strong & look towards the long term benefits. We can't let ourselves cave & just go with what is the easiest thing now. We are molding & shaping future members of society & we can't ever let ourselves take this "duty" lightly-Its an honor! We are not meant to be their best friends, they need us to guide them & tell them the truth even when it may hurt.

The other day 1 of my lil' ones was not on her best behavior throughout the day. She was not doing anything WAY bad, but she was not behaving at the level of obedience I knew she was very capable of & expect of her. I provided warnings & discipline when needed, but because of the choices she continued to make at the end of the day she lost out in participating in a special activity we had already had planned. I am telling you right now that having her not join in was more painful for me than her. It tore at me & I just wanted to scoop her up in my arms & say "Its okay, Baby. Go ahead & lets just forget about what happened today". BUT I had to press pause & focus on the lesson that needed to be taught here. After multiple chances & warnings she still chose to behave in the wrong manner & I could not reward her for that. I had to let her know that not only was it not acceptable, but mommy was going to hold strong to her word & the consequences that were promised. Why? Because I love her & I know that in the end I am doing what is best for her. She may not understand it completely now, but in time she will.

So, know that you are not alone in feeling bad sometimes & wanting to cave in to your emotions or their's. BUT also know that you can overcome & hold firm because you are ultimately doing what is best for them! :)

-M&M Momma