Follow through is so important in parenting. Our word needs to be our bond. We need to make sure that if we are going to promise our child something (no matter how insignificant it may seem to us at times), we follow through to the very best of our ability ever time. Promises should not be thrown around or taken lightly. If we continue to give out empty promises, eventually the value of our word will be worth nothing to our children.
I am not just talking about the good promises like, "We will go to the park later today" or "After you are done eating all of your dinner, you may have a treat". I am also talking about the promises we make when disciplining. For example, if your child starts whining & throwing a tantrum, then at 1st you would probably give them a warning like, "We do not throw tantrums, if you choose to keep whining then I will send you to your bed ". If that child chooses to do it again, then you owe it to them & yourself to immediately stop what you are doing & fulfill that promise of sending them to their bedroom (no matter how busy you may be). We must be true to our word! They need to know we mean business & when we say something they need to obey right away! You aren't the bad guy, you are tell them things because you care for them & love them. If you stay consistent with following through immediately, then over time you will find you have to discipline your child less & less. I can't tell you how many times I have had to stop right in the middle of pumping to discipline 1 of my older 2 children. It can be a hassle at times, but it's so worth it & I have seen tremendous benefits!
While we are here, let me quickly touch on an area of discipline I have observed countless times between parents & their children, the counting method! The main setting I seem to run into this action taking place is in toy stores or grocery stores. A child is acting up & the parent says, " I am going to count to 3 & if you don't stop I am going to.....". To me this method of disciplining seems very fruitless. Those parents are going to find themselves constantly having to count out warnings because their child is going to keep testing the boundaries of how far they can push them. The parent is sending their child a message that when they say to do or stop doing something, they don't have to do it immediately because your giving them a counting leeway every time. You are the parent, you should not have to count! Like I stated earlier, our children need to know we mean business & everything we do is for a purpose.
Parenting is the hardest job in the world & is much more difficult than it looks, but it is also the MOST rewarding thing you will ever experience & worth every bit of the work & some!
M&M Momma
@ church |
I agree 100%!! I've done the counting thing, and still feel obligated to do it at work with the other kids, because a lot of parents get upset hearing that i didn't. "They know if you start counting they're in big trouble, so why didn't you do it??"
ReplyDeleteWith my daughter i give her a warning and always always follow through because i've seen how ill behaved and disobedient kids can be if you don't do what you say.
I can't tell you how refreshing it is to see another mom out there just as passionate as i am about this. Keep it up hun, your daughters will just love you more for the boundaries and discipline you give them.
thx
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