Thursday, February 17, 2011

Friend or Parent? You Can't Be Both.

Recently, Billy Ray Cyrus said in a nutshell that 1 of his biggest regrets was caring more about being Miley Cyrus' friend rather than her parent. This is my inspiration for tonight's blog. I think often times as parents we think more about the immediate results rather than future consequences. Usually the immediate also equals the easiest thing, but not always the right thing. If your child throws a fit/whines, especially out in public, it is sooo much easier to just give them what they want to make them be quiet & stop embarrassing you. Its so much easier to not get up & discipline your child for that 3rd or 4th time they do the very same thing you have been telling them to stop doing! If "easy" is what you are looking for, then parenting is definitely the wrong profession.

Parenting is an every day effort that you can't slack on! It is our duty to make sure our children are held accountable for their actions/choices each & every time from a very young age. If not, then when they grow up its going to be such a rude awakening for you & them. We need to look past the "right now"/short term & step up to the plate. Our kids definitely are not going to understand all the time or like us for correcting them, but you have to remember that is just in the short term. In the future all the work you have put in will GREATLY pay off & your child will respect you more for it!

If your child was to run out into a busy street, there is no way you would just let them go. NO! You immediately grab them & correct them. They may not know the potential dangers that could occur in that busy street, but you do & you care about them. You wouldn't even take a second to stop & say, "Well, its what they want to do so I guess I have to just let them go". There is absolutely no parent I know that would stand by and let that happen. You might not equate something as simple as whining, talking back, or not wanting to share at this same level....But it kind of is. Things start out small where you can barely even notice them, like a spark, but soon enough you are going to have a whole forest fire on your hands burning right there in front of you. Why not nip the lil' things in the bud now? It will pay off in time. Have patience & be consistent. Your child will love & thank you for it in the end.

If you are worried its too late to change (stepping up to being the parent rather than "the friend") & beating yourself over the head for the past mistakes you have made, then STOP IT! None of us just become perfect parents over night, its a lifetime effort. Trial & error are a huge part of parenting. We just have to learn from our mistakes, fix it, & move on. We also have to remember that each kid is different & something that works well with 1 child, might not have the same affect on another. We just need to stay committed to learning, continuously analyzing ourselves, & adjusting when & where it is needed. The 1st sign that you are a great parent is the fact that you want to be the best parent you can be, because you can't change someone that isn't willing to change!

-M&M Momma

Austin's 1st time in her saucer....Tear.
 3 months old ALREADY!

Note 2 Austin Rose; "Please slow down, Kiddo!!!"


  1. i agree with what youre saying in the sense that you said it. however (please excuse my lack of writing style), i think a parent does play both roles as friend and parent throughout the course of a lifetime. for example, my mom and dad have been my parents for about 19 years, but since ive grown up and moved out and have started walking on my own two feet i think of them more as my friends (but with tons more life experience). in my opinion there's a point where parent changes the parent hat to the friend hat. but not just any friend (cause believe me, ive got some stupid friends), a friend that truly has your best interest at heart... kinda like your husband. im not sure if that made a lot of sense, but for the purpose of this blog, while children are still children, parents CANNOT be their friends, and honestly i believe their children will thank them for it later

  2. I totally agree with this. I see too many parents walking in and out of the classroom every day that you can tell the kids run the house hold. It makes me sad because it's just not good for the kids at all and it's teaching them that they'll get what they want which definitely isn't always going to happen in the real world.

    In response to the other comment on here, i disagree, i love my parents and have grown closer to them as well since i've become an adult and more independent, but they're still my parents. Ones that i look to for guidance and advice when my friends wouldn't have any idea what to say. I do, however, believe that when kids are older parenting switches to a different kind of parenting, but still i believe it's parenting all the same. I don't think i could ever think of my parents as just friends and not a parent.

    Its like the title of her blog says "Friend or Parent? You can't be both." Because in reality, you can't be.

  3. I do believe as you become adults the relationship evolves. I have definitely connected with my mom & dad on a whole new level now that I am married, have my own kids, & just have a greater understanding & appreciation of life. I feel closer to them now & we talk more like adults. I think the term "friend" is not exactly what I would use, because the level of genuine love & care your parents have for you just doesn't even compare to a "friend" but I know exactly what you mean @M!